bad week.
failed income tax quiz 3.
failed income tax mid term.
many proj meetings and had presentations today.
boringg day man.
for the times ive been a liability to the ppl around me, im really sorry.
'cos i never meant to be.
i just wished this world was a lil less judgemental.
it just makes me feel even more like i wanna change.
to make a real great effort not to judge anymoree.
it can be kinda disgustingg at times??
yea and so i think im disgusted with myself at times.
stop tellingg me what i am and what i am not.
i know what i am.
and nobody really knows me.
sch work is causingg me sucha great headache.
yea friends and ppl around are nice.understanding and all.
its just me.
i dont understand a single thingg i learn.
i feel dumb in this sch.its a wonder how i got into smu man.
yuck and i keep procrastinating i knoww.
i dont wanna work hard.
i keep believing that i dont wanna get caught up.
i dont wanna be just another smuggerr.
but truth is i feel silly most days??
oh well.
doesnt really matter.
and why is it that as we grow olderr.
the ppl closest to our hearts start leavingg one by one.
ive always wanted to be there for my close ones.
to be there for those who need me.
but yet.
the greatest irony.
is that.
when im down during times like that.
i dont ever turn to anyonee.
i prefer beingg alone.
no.
im not a lonerr.
i just need some alone time.
to discover what i am behind the smiles.
as i grow olderr, i get more convinced that...
i just dont belongg.
and duringg times like this.
the only one i wanna turn to is youu.
and bcos you know that.
pls help me to help myself to stop myself from stoppingg myself to get closerr and surrenderr.
cos you give me strength when im weak.
and to those who botherr.
nah im not depressed.
just emo-ingg and tiired of how things work hereee.
yea and everyone will be thinkingg.
EARTH TO EILEEN.
yea i ought to face up to reality.
but i cant help it.
i wanna runaway.
to a place where grades dont matter, where ppl love each other unconditionally, where ppl dont judge.
that place is my ultimate goal.
so pls.
help me to work towards it.
i love youu.
more than ever noww.
1 comment:
hey dear its great that you're not caught up in the rat race.
but we must also remember that one of our roles (right now) on this earth is to be a good student for God!
So that is why we must still work hard, put in the best we can. But at the same time, we must NOT be consumed by it. Remember who we're working for. who's honour its for.
that its not for our own glory/vanity sake, cos if it is we'll fail.
so don't fret. the battle has been won by the Lord! i know how you feel about feeling like you've failed in everything. but pick yourself up! God will see us through.
HUGS*
-sara
Post a Comment