i miss youuu... so much.

i miss youu.
so much.
i wish you knew.
but somehow i guess you'll never knoww.
you've just been gone for a week.
but life seems so differenttt.
i wish you were here.
i could always rant on and on about all the stuff thats goingg on and you'll always patiently listen without even commenting much.
but it was always nice just knowingg you were always there to listen.
i wish you were aroundd.
'cos you always made things right.
you knew so much abt me.
all the things i liked.
all the things i disliked.
all my weirdest habits, you knew them all.
you called a few days back.
it was so nice hearingg your voice for just about four and a half mins before the line got cut off.
you told me you want to come back but you wont be able to.
my heart sank.
last week when we cried and hugged before you left.
there was this hope inside of me.
that prevented much more tears.
this hope that ill get to seeya again.
this hope seems to grow more distant noww.
but i just reallyy...
miss youuuu.
thanks for everythinggg.
hugggg.

your grace is sufficient...

things have changed so much.
this entire week starting from last wed has been eventful.
totallyy...
like a rollercoaster ridee.
in terms of events that have taken place, emotional aspect, etc.
theres so much to say...
GOD has been so good to me.
he has always been walkingg so close to me.
i always felt it.
to the point i unknowingly took for granted the fact that he'll always be there.
to those who do not believe in GOD.
i tell youu.
GOD is real and he is so good!!
pls speak more to me about it if you want to find out more.
i will be more than willingg to share with you how GOD loves us.
yupp.
somethin happened.
mixed feelings abt it.
its definitely more good than bad.
cos i was like so exciiited abt it and stuff.
its unbelievable reallyyy.
yet i have mixed feelins cos ill be takingg my own path from here.
reallyy...
im kinda scared cos i know how dependant i am on ppl who are close to me.
i am dependant on everythin and everyonee in this world.
but i know that this is GODs plan for me or this unbelievable and amazingg thing that just happened would not have happened!!
oh myyyyyyy!!
theres so much i worry about.
but i no longerr worry cos he is gonna be there walkingg with me.
as much as it'll seem like im takingg my own path.
i will not be.
cos he will be right here by my sidee!!
i knoww...
some people will think, its luck again.
shes luckyy.
but then i think to myself.
and once again,
im convinced.
it isnt luck.
its GODs grace and everythin comes from GOD.
i thank you LORD.
you are so good.
help me to love you more and more and moreeee each day.
help me to be more adequate and less imperfect for you.
help me to always stayy close.
i wanna love youuuuuuuuuuuuu all the time.
i wanna feel your presence all the timeeeeeee.
i can never thank you enough.
but...
THANK YOU!!
you are simply the BEST.
<3

holdin' your hand, i won't fearr tomorrowwwwwww

Staring at the moon so blue
Turning all my thoughts to you
I was without hopes or dreams
Try to dull an inner scream
But you . . . saw me through . . .

Walking on a path of air
See your faces everywhere
As you melt this heart of stone
You take my hand to guide me home and now I'm in love

You took my heart away
When my whole world was grey
You gave me everything and a little bit more
And when it's cold at night
And you sleep by my side
You become the meaning of my life . . .

Living in a world so cold
You were there to warm my soul
You came to mend a broken heart
You gave my life a brand new start
And now . . . I 'm in love

You took my heart away <3
When my whole world was grey :(
You gave me everything and a little bit more :)
And when it's cold at night :(
And you sleep by my side :)
You become the meaning of my life . . . :))))))))))))

Holding your hand
I won't fear tomorrow :DDDDDDDDDDDD
Here where we stand
We'll never be alone :)

You took my heart away
When my whole world was grey
You gave me everything and a little bit more
And when it's cold at night
And you sleep by my side
You become the meaning of my life . . .
You become the meaning of my life . . .
You become the meaning
You become the meaning of my life . . .

i thank you for everythinnn.
my first lovee.
my true loveeeee.
my greatest loveeeee.
<3
iloveyou.

nah, she doesnt belongg

bad week.
failed income tax quiz 3.
failed income tax mid term.
many proj meetings and had presentations today.
boringg day man.
for the times ive been a liability to the ppl around me, im really sorry.
'cos i never meant to be.
i just wished this world was a lil less judgemental.
it just makes me feel even more like i wanna change.
to make a real great effort not to judge anymoree.
it can be kinda disgustingg at times??
yea and so i think im disgusted with myself at times.
stop tellingg me what i am and what i am not.
i know what i am.
and nobody really knows me.
sch work is causingg me sucha great headache.
yea friends and ppl around are nice.understanding and all.
its just me.
i dont understand a single thingg i learn.
i feel dumb in this sch.its a wonder how i got into smu man.
yuck and i keep procrastinating i knoww.
i dont wanna work hard.
i keep believing that i dont wanna get caught up.
i dont wanna be just another smuggerr.
but truth is i feel silly most days??
oh well.
doesnt really matter.
and why is it that as we grow olderr.
the ppl closest to our hearts start leavingg one by one.
ive always wanted to be there for my close ones.
to be there for those who need me.
but yet.
the greatest irony.
is that.
when im down during times like that.
i dont ever turn to anyonee.
i prefer beingg alone.
no.
im not a lonerr.
i just need some alone time.
to discover what i am behind the smiles.
as i grow olderr, i get more convinced that...
i just dont belongg.
and duringg times like this.
the only one i wanna turn to is youu.
and bcos you know that.
pls help me to help myself to stop myself from stoppingg myself to get closerr and surrenderr.
cos you give me strength when im weak.
and to those who botherr.
nah im not depressed.
just emo-ingg and tiired of how things work hereee.
yea and everyone will be thinkingg.
EARTH TO EILEEN.
yea i ought to face up to reality.
but i cant help it.
i wanna runaway.
to a place where grades dont matter, where ppl love each other unconditionally, where ppl dont judge.
that place is my ultimate goal.
so pls.
help me to work towards it.
i love youu.
more than ever noww.

spare me

no thanks.
i do not wish to be consumed.